OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You dont lie about slip and slides
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
