It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
