woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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