Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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