The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
