So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
