I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
