it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
