why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
