btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it penis luge time yet?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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