Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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