Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
