dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
