I hate your face
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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