Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
