i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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