his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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