I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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