Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
