I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I intend to get homeless drunk
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
