I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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