Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
