your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
