what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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