hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
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He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
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I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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