He passed out mid-signature
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
