i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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