She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize