see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
