My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize