giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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