Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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