I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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