im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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