the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Jerry, you need to find god
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
