Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
