I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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