Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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