You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize