I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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