My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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