yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
they're like a gay fantastic four
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
