I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
