It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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