Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
