I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
