so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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