honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
