when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
