Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
