every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
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You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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