do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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