Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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