Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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