Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
