Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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