You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
