I love black thongs
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
