i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
