I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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