Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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