Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
